I Am Not Alone

I felt this image perfectly describes the daily writing prompt of: “from the outside looking in.” It takes an alternative approach because, obviously I cannot physically see Kaylynn at this point in time. I do; however, know she is there. She makes her presence known to me every single day. Little does she know, she has drastically changed my life for the better already. “I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time” -Anna Freud. Now that I have been given the opportunity to become a mother, I have done some serious inward examination of my own motives, personality, goals, etc. Prior to finding out that I am pregnant, I would look to others to give me strength and confidence. I would seek out their opinions of me to know that I was doing well in my own life. Basing my self-worth on what they thought about me. How do they know what’s best for me? It is my life, after all. I want to be a positive influence on my daughter and instill in her just how important self-love and trusting in oneself is. She is a constant reminder of the example I want to be for her.

Eternal Radiance

The daily writing prompt for today is the frequently asked question: “What does happiness look like?”

Happiness is an emotion, or state of being, that is so often disregarded and taken for granted. We frequently allow ourselves to get caught up in the stresses of our every day lives that we completely forget to just take a moment to appreciate the here and now. I feel this way because I know for certain I am guilty of this. I have always been a natural-born type-A personality with the ability to stress at the drop of a hat. I also; however, know the importance of taking a step back and just admiring the beauty of all the wonderful things that not only surround me, but can be found within me.

As I know we all have different views, I know for certain that we have different opinions as to what we think happiness looks like. I’d like to list of some of the ways in which happiness presents itself to me.

First and foremost, happiness is being surrounded by the ones that you love. I know family and friends can get on your nerves at times, but in the end, being around everyone that means the most to you brings nothing but joy in my opinion. I love the holidays for this reason, but believe I need to take more time out of my daily life to visit with friends and family more.

Secondly, as someone that loves comedy and awkward moments, I feel that laughing until your belly aches and tears come streaming down your face is one of the absolute best feelings in the world. Not only are you releasing all sorts of endorphins, but you are also boosting your immune system at the same time. I don’t think I can find anything bad about this. I am at my happiest state when I am laughing with others. Some of my most fond memories are those that I shared with my close friends and family laughing about something completely and utterly random. I personally believe that’s what got me through much of the high school days way back when.

Next, on a more aesthetic front, happiness to me is lounging in a warm bubble bath; the bubbles dancing across my skin, the lights dimmed, and not a sound to be heard. It is becoming engulfed in a really good book. It is the taste of that first cup of hot coffee in the morning. It is the feeling of the seasons changing and the sun shining on your face or the brisk winter wind kissing your neck.

Lastly, and more importantly, there is “unadulterated” joy. These can be moments in which there just are not adequate words to describe how truly happy you are. IE: hearing your baby’s heart beat for the first time, graduating from college, walking down the aisle at your wedding, seeing the love of your life for the first time. The one thing these all have in common is that warm, fuzzy, almost high sensation.

I want to seek out happiness more in my life because it is so easy to get caught up in the everyday, monotonous hustle and bustle. This world can be such a negative place, and I don’t want to become someone that has given up. I want to live in the moment, cherish my life, and love those around me with the deepest passion imaginable. All of this begins with one simple thing: happiness.

A Letter to My Unborn Daughter

My most precious gift Kaylynn,

I want you to know, first and foremost, that you are loved more than words can describe already. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and now that I have been given the opportunity to carry you just under my own heart, I could not be more ecstatic about your arrival. Just feeling you kick and wiggle around in my tummy is quite possibly the most humbling and heart-warming thing I could have ever asked for. You have brought me so much joy already that I can’t wait much longer for the moment that I will be able to hold you in my arms for the first time, peer down into your little eyes, and kiss you on your forehead. There are so many different things I can’t wait to show you and teach you. Just a few things I would like to touch upon are not only loving others, but loving yourself, reading to your hearts content, taking pictures of every little thing, living in the moment, laughing until your tummy is sore, and just fully living your life to the best of your ability.

• It is so important to do things for others. I can’t emphasize enough how gratifying it is to do something for someone out of the kindness of your heart. It is also very important to treat others with kindness and respect, because as the old saying goes, we do not know what battles they are fighting in their own lives. With that being said, I want you to know just how important it is to also love and respect yourself. Even though I will always be one of your biggest fans, (Daddy too, because I know that from the moment he lays his eyes on you, you will know just what it is to be loved by one of the sweetest, most funny men in your life), you alone can either be your biggest motivator or your harshest critic. You are beautiful. You will always be beautiful. A love and appreciation for yourself will shine out of you and make you even more beautiful. It is so easy for many little girls, even grown women, to fall into what society says we should look like, how we should dress, how we should talk/act. Let me just tell you now, it is all completely false. As the wonderful book and movie “The Help” stated, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” We will have to watch that one together when you are old enough. You will love it.
• Reading. This is one of my favorite topics. It seems that as technology advances, the day and age of reading is falling by the wayside. I can’t emphasize enough how gratifying it is to educate yourself, to read, and to fully submerse yourself in a good book. I have always been very fond of reading because it takes you to a whole new place, your own little escape from the stresses of reality, if only for 50 pages at a time. Your daddy just purchased The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas to read to you (in my tummy) each night until you are born. We plan on reading to you and with you when you’re a little girl because it is something that our parents, grandparents, and loved ones did with us.
• Another topic quite dear to my heart is taking photographs. Some of my most fond memories were caught on camera, and now, after so many years, I could not be more appreciative that they were. I know I’m going to be that mom that will take a thousand and one pictures, but I firmly believe that even though our memories will fade as we get older, I will always have little pictures of our family to hold onto.
• Your daddy and I both are quite the silly pair, and we want to raise you in a home and family full of joy and laughter. I will never underestimate just how powerful laughter can be. It can brighten some of the darkest days. There is a time and place for being serious, but I want you to know that you do not have to take everything in life so seriously. Sometimes it is better to take things with a grain of salt and let petty problems roll right off your back. So my advice to you is laugh as hard as you can, make others laugh, and just enjoy the moment. Life is so wonderful and precious, and there are so many great things to be seen, heard, tasted, and even felt.

With all that being said, I am so excited for your arrival so you, your daddy, and I can take on the world together. You are loved more than you can possibly imagine already, and we are all so excited to finally meet you. You are going to do great things in your life Kaylynn, and I want you to know that we are always going to be here right by your side.

As your daddy and I say to one another, we will love you forever and always.
xoxo Mommy